A Greater You

Have you ever felt stuck in your life? Did you wish at that time to find a way to get back on track? Have you found yourself repeating a pattern for no reason like not being able to save money, dating the wrong person, saying I will never do this or that and then you do it? I have been there too…. I felt frustrated and looked for a way to improve my situation. I searched for a resource to help me figure out a path of action.

I took ACTION with an approach called Systems Dynamics. One of my passions! Not a surprise to you, as you’ve seen my Latin passionate spirit before…. It is an approach that has consistently helped me when I get stuck in different situations or I want to stop a pattern. I have studied this discipline for many years and now I feel compelled to share it and actively use it personally and at work.

Begin by understanding Systems Dynamics. You belong to many systems… your family your work, your church, your friends… they all are systems. Each one a group of related people; in the case of organizations they are the relationship among business and products they offer. To start building your understanding let’s focus on, families, a system that is closer to all of us. You know your family transmits information among its members and throughout generations verbally, in written matter and biologically through DNA. This last one you know is responsible for the passing of traits like the color of your eyes and skin, your height, mental aptitudes, ability for sports, etc. Less known though, is that we also inherit Emotional DNA which shapes many factors of your unconscious personal and professional life. Systems Dynamics, also known as Family Constellations, shows you how previous generations color how your experience life, and influence the decisions you make. By exploring previous generations with a “Systemic Lens” you can understand the impact of multi generational decisions or events and begin to take action. You may have heard that a person that doesn’t know his/her history is destined to repeat it! Your history carries aspects that you want to ensure continue and others that you’d prefer be different. This work gives you the opportunity to shape your future understanding you past.

What is a phrase that you’ve heard from your parents or your family often? Such as: “You need to work hard”, “save for the future”, “you must be independent”, and so on… Pay attention on who said that to you. Do you find yourself using that same phrases with your kids? Phrases connect and identify us with our family and they carry emotions that are passed on from one generation to the other. This has an impact in our lives, creating patterns for us. Be the first one in your family to understand how these patterns serve you well or if they are keeping you stuck. Systems Dynamics allows you to back track the origin of phrases and beliefs. And, test if they continue to be current and serving you in a positive way; as well as helping you reframe them in a way to support you moving forward. These family phrases are only one type of information that you gain awareness by using Systems Dynamics, others include behaviors, habits, unconscious actions, traditions, beliefs and experiences that we engage as they have been wired through our Emotional DNA.

A more personal example is how I grew up with my parents telling me that I should be independent and self-sufficient. It is a great way of approaching things, I can handle and figure out things on my own, I feel like a super woman! I have a successful corporate career, I am financially independent, can do pretty much whatever I want to; the flip side, is that when I start a relationship with a boyfriend, I am so independent and self-sufficient that I was told before: “you don’t let yourself be helped”, “there is no space for me”, “I feel excluded”, “You just decide for yourself”! Unconsciously I am doing what I learned from very little. Although being independent and self-sufficient is great, it needs to be more balanced in certain areas of my life to allow others to be part of it. With “Systemic Lenses” on, I suddenly saw that this is a pattern in my family. My grandmas and great grand aunts lived just like ME! So I am not the first women in my family line caught in this dynamic, but I can be the one who changes my relationship with men, to enable a healthy and strong relationship. I now understand why I cannot find a boyfriend who wants to stay. I now understand my history in its full context, and I can shift to a different future.

By identifying challenges of a situation, there is an opportunity to recognize the root cause of the limitation and reframe it in a way that becomes a gift instead of a barrier. In system dynamics work you will learn to shift your limitations and gain new perspectives. Going back to the example: be self-sufficient and independent but be intentional to include a partner on your decisions.

This is how you can use Systems Dynamics. The examples are but a brief glimpse of what you can do with it. While I focused on families, keep in mind that how you show up in your family is how you show up and what you bring to work.

What is the QUESTION that you would like to have an answer to? What repeating PATTERN you want to understand more about?

Give yourself the gift of discovering an approach that is being used in Fortune 500 companies and by people determined to no longer make their history their future. Dare to find new ways… Get unstuck! Transform patterns, and move forward!

Jumpstart your own success and transform your own life. Give yourself this amazing transformative gift!!

Phrases connect and identify us with our family